Me, God? How?...Amazing Grace!!

I'm still amazed and overwhelmed at the goodness of my God...

Last Friday night we went with a group of the Everyday Evangelism class to Las Olas and A1A for a Street Evangelism outreach.
I was afraid to volunteer for this event because, for those of you that know me well, you can tell how shy I am when I don't know a person and although I love to talk (specially about Jesus) if I've never met you before, it might take me a little bit to get comfortable and really talk to you (right Barney?...sorry, I meant Jen?).

I signed up for the EE1 class because I knew that God had been calling me to do it, so I obeyed and did. The class has been AMAZING!
When they were asking people to volunteer to the Street Evangelism, I knew I had to step out of my comfort zone, take a step of faith and do it.
I even told one of the girls who was signing people up that I was a little scared because I've never done something like that before, but she smiled and said that everything would be alright.

My heart started pounding when they were asking for volunteers and I knew where all that was coming from.
I wrote down my name on the sign up sheet, not really knowing what I was doing, just trusting God with it.
I even thought it might have something to do with the vision He gave me when the EE1 class started (while we were looking at a video) of what his future plan is for me. The friends I said this to even told me to write it down, mail it to myself and store it somewhere, and see if a few years from now, I'm doing what God told me in that vision…And I did!

Anyway...I prayed all last week about the outreach. I was convinced that God already knew who were the people He was going to put in our way that night, so I just prayed for a successful outreach and for him to speak thru each and every one of us.
As Friday approached, I was getting more and more nervous, but trusting God that He was going to do all the work thru me, because there was NO WAY I was going to be able to do it on my own.

So Friday night comes...As I was driving down to Las Olas I was praying and singing to Jesus and repeating that everything was going to be OK. When I parked I said a prayer and then told him "OK, I'm here, now you have to do the rest".
One of the girls who had been in this outreaches before came to talk to me and as I told her how nervous I was, she said that there was nothing to be nervous for and that once we prayed, I was going to feel much better.

When the 21 volunteers were there, we went to the beach and under the beautiful star filled sky, we worshiped and prayed before going out to talk to people.
I can tell you that after we were done, my fears were GONE!!

As we were worshiping, I noticed a guy sitting by the lifeguard stand who kept looking at us, and in my heart, I felt he was one of the people I had to go talk to.
When we were done, we split up in groups of 3 or 4. I was with 2 guys, Julio and Dave. Julio had done this many times before and it was Dave's first time also.
Then Julio said something that left me perplexed...He said "I know who God wants us to talk to"...and he points out to the same guy that I saw, the one seating next to the Lifeguard stand...Ohhhhhhh!!!! How amazing is that Julio and I, who ended up in the same group, felt that God was telling us to talk to that same guy...Can you already see God's hand in all these???

To fill you in a little bit...This guy, John (named changed for respect to him) was drinking beer and smoking a cigarette.
We went up to him, said hi, introduced ourselves, and he gave us a look like "oh no, what do you want?" He was a little drunk and looked very very sad.
Julio started the conversation, asking his name, where he was from and other things to make him feel a little more comfortable with us.
Then Julio started asking "the" questions...I was amazed at the fact that he knew a lot of Scripture.
He told us that he had lost EVERYTHING and EVERYONE (parents, wife, etc) about 10 years ago, and ended up on the streets. He was very angry at God because he said that He took everything he loved the most.
Julio asked him if he knew the story of Job, and to our surprise, he did, but said that Job's story was nothing compared to his.
He was an ex-military and had seen a lot of people die in combat and also his mom and his beloved wife years before…You could tell he was deeply hurt as a result of all these things.
Julio was doing all the talking at this time, and I felt inside of me that all I needed to do that moment, was pray and pray.
As John kept talking, my heart was filled with compassion for this man that thought that God was somehow punishing him.
He said that one time he even put a gun in his mouth, pulled the trigger and didn't shoot. The next day, he pointed the gun up to the sky to see why it wasn't working and BANG, it shot!!!!
Julio told him that God had a plan for him, because he tried to kill himself and couldn't.
John said that whatever God's plans were for him, he didn't want them, he just wanted God to take him and end all his pain.
He also said that he wasn't good enough for God to use him.

I could relate to John a lot, because before I came to have a relationship with Jesus, I was very angry at him. I felt that I wasn't good enough for whatever He wanted to do with me...A lot of John's words were the same words that came out of my mouth years ago.
I felt the LORD telling me at that point "talk to John, tell him where you were and where you are now that you know me"...I had an internal battle, because I was like "no way, I can't talk LORD, you know I can't", to what He kept saying "yes you can, trust me, yes you can". This went in my mind for a good 45 mins. (yes, that long)
I kept seeing all this signs that I HAD to speak up, but I was too afraid...There was no way I could be as good as Julio talking.
Suddenly we were all quiet...and I knew I had to talk, or else I would regret it for the rest of the night.

My mouth was opened and a question came out of it. I asked John if I could tell him my story, and he smiled and said "yes".
I started telling him my testimony and that I could relate to him because I was at that same point of anger with God. I felt very sad, very broken, but God put people like Julio and Dave in my life, to let me know that He loves me, and that I had 2 options...Get out of my misery and trust him, or just continue to be broken and miserable for the rest of my life. I decided to trust him and follow him.
I told him that when I felt that the whole world turned its back on me, Jesus turned to me and opened his arms and embraced me.

I kept talking and I felt a peace inside of me, like God was putting all those words in my mouth. John just sat there smiling and listening.
When I was done, he still said that he didn't want what God had to offer him, he just wanted to die...But at least I know I said what God wanted me to say.

We spent a whole hour with this man, who that night had a divine appointment with God...We ministered to him, we loved on him, we gave him socks, but most importantly, we watered the seed that someone had already planted some time ago.
We didn't see him come to Christ, but I know that now that he is in our prayers, sooner or later, John will surrender his life to him...I just know it!
At the end, HE PRAYED FOR US. He prayed that God will continue to use us to "refresh" people like him, and we felt blessed with this stranger's heartfelt prayer.

As I drove back home, I was amazed and humbled on how God used me, a "former" shy girl, who was afraid to talk, who many times felt rejected, to minister to a broken soul.
God used ME? I have nothing to offer him, but I know that all He needs me to do, is step out of my comfort zone and be obedient to his call...He'll do the rest, with his amazing grace!

So if you feel that you have nothing to offer God or that He could never use you, let me give you a little encouragement and tell you that He not only CAN, but WANTS to!!
Just step out of your comfort zone...it's hard, but it's WORTH IT!!!
Don't miss out on the amazing plan God has for you.
...And always remember "God doesn't call the qualified, He qualifies the called".